Okay, so we’ve all heard of edible underwear, edible lubricants and even flavored condoms, and at least in one point of our lives we’ve seen or owned an edible candy necklace or bracelet. However…the envelope on things made edible has completely been pushed and no longer has a limit. If you look online, I mean really look, you can find shit that’s edible that you could not even fathom, and yes literally shit, too. Things made edible have gone way past childhood fun and even past adulthood kinkiness and have entered into a realm of completely pointless, ridiculous, and offensiveness.  My pointless example would have to be a pair of shoes that I found on the Internet that are made of bread. I’m sorry did I say “pair” because I meant to say “line.” Yes, that’s right, there is an entire line of shoes made completely out of bread…wheat bread, white bread, multigrain bread, you name it, and they are all around the basic shape of clogs. Why, in a world of millions suffering from hunger do we come up with and sell, for a ridiculous price at that, edible, yet novelty, shoes?

Alright, done with that rant, lets move on to edible play-dough. At first, well compared to edible shoes at least, it seems a little more rational and understanding. However, this is actually my ridiculous example. Think about it…what do kids do with play-dough? They mold it on dirty surfaces, let it fall on the filthy floor, and roll it up with their bacteria filled hands…and then…they eat it. Not only is ridiculous because it is completely unsanitary, but its like a gateway drug for kids in the sense that now they think they can eat anything they play with. The average age of children who are still amused by play-dough range from about 2-6, the age when kids try to eat everything anyways, and now we are telling them that its okay? Really? What’s next? Kids are going to think they can eat markers, paint, glue, mommy’s lipstick and daddy’s hair gel. The list can go on and on and they will think its okay because they can eat their play-dough. BAD IDEA!

Moving on, here comes my offensive example…babies. Yes, you read it right, BABIES. There are miniature, edible babies that can fit in the palm of almost every adult hand. There is a website where you can kind find tons of different versions of tiny little edible babies made of various chocolates ranging from dark chocolate to pure white chocolate. The most offensive thing about these edible babies is the fact that they actually look real, like creepy real. Why on earth would anyone want to eat a miniature baby made of chocolate, why on earth would someone even come up with this? It’s all around creepy and screams pedophile in a whole new way. Completely and utterly offensive. The main point I am trying to make is why do we spend all this time on pointless, ridiculous, and offensive things to make edible when we can just focus on new recipes and how to make things that are naturally edible, a little bit better. Please, if you are one of these people who think they are creative because they can make normal, everyday objects edible, stop…for the greater good. Stop wasting time on things that break the norm in the “edible” world and try creating something we can all benefit on.

By:

Amanda Blair