Don’t you dare call me a foodie.  Shakespeare’s “that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” does not apply here.  That which were a delicious empanada would taste like pretention, shame, and fraud when eaten by someone who calls themselves a “foodie.”

How has this word become the save-all buzz word for any food-related topic under the sun?  Your friend who tried Ethiopian food – gotta be a foodie.  Your coffee shop that started selling bacon chocolate chip cookies – it’s run by foodies.  You decide that Folgers isn’t cutting it and you order Kona coffee from Hawaii – ooh, imports to the mainland?  Foodie.

Let’s be real, here.  Ethiopian food friend?  Dude finally got his picky bitch head out of his ass to try a dish that doesn’t end with “and potatoes.”  Way to actually try something new.  He’s not a foodie.  He’s just finally started making himself NOT a dining liability.

Bacon chocolate chip cookies – it just makes good sense to at least put bacon in anything.  Bacon is magic.  Not foodies.  Just practical.  Kudos to your coffee shop for not selling frozen oatmeal cookies (a la Starbucks…sorry guys, it’s true).  And Hawaiian beans?  Good stuff, but don’t be such a snob ass.  Chicago has good coffee too.

If you’re looking for foodies, we do not hang out here.  We’ll keep up with food trends, we’ll adventure through new cuisines, we’ll even – gasp – shop the local Farmers’ Market.  We eat food that doesn’t suck.  We’re enthusiasts, we’re experimenters, sure.  But no self-respecting food-respecting person, under any circumstance, will ever give himself (or herself) the degrading “foodie” label.  I’m not a foodie; I’m just hungry.  Let’s eat.

By:

Denise