To kick off our weekend, my friend and I headed out to Touch, a new techy bar with interactive tables. These tables allow you to “text” your drink orders, play games and chat up the surrounding people at the bar (provided they are attractive).

When we arrived to the bar, it had a lounge feeling, with its dark interior and blue lit bar. We were sat at a table with a touch screen and our server explained how to order drinks. The menu has over 76,000 drinks listed and it was a little daunting. To make it simple, you could order drinks by mood (including bitchy with a drink called “ the bitch slap”), or you can design your own.

But you know when you go out with someone and they’re on the phone the whole time? You know how that gets annoying? This place did too. Before we could even get our drinks, we were moved from our table to a seat at the bar, which is just like any other bar in Chicago. No hi-res screens, keyboards or things to double click. We were informed that a reservation had bumped us. My friends and I didn’t appreciate being moved without at least a free round, or something for the inconvenience, it’s kind of just the right thing to do, especially at a new unestablished bar.  Without the gadgets and gimmicks to distract us, Touch fell flat. If you’re going to try this bar, make sure you have a reservation so you can play around on the screens, otherwise the trip there probably isn’t really worth it.

The wait staff, while definitely nice, wasn’t very knowledgeable about the menu and seemed confused about the ordering system. “They need to hire the people at the Mac store to work here…not just pretty skinny bitches,” whispered my friend Khrista, as we sipped on our drinks. My friends had ordered a Sex Appeal and a Virus, both of which tasted yummy. I ordered Bryana’s Bikini and it tasted as if I was drinking a rubbing alcohol with a cherry garnish.

My friends and I continued to talk about the things Touch should have had as features.  For those who watch their weight, nutrition information should be on the screen’s drink menu. Plus, if they have these smart computer tables, why not be able to make music requests with the touch of a button? When we open a bar, we’ll be revolutionary.

When I closed out my tab, they forgot to give me back my license and ID, resulting in me having to track back my steps to the bar later. A 22 percent automatic gratuity was added to bill, which in my opinion was too generous, considering we ordered our drinks via screen.

My friends and I went down the street to a laid back and casual restaurant and bar called Joe’s. We ordered the most delicious chicken-based Sloppy Joe fries, a heavy 6-cheese artichoke dip packed with the chokes, and tasty Magic hat #9 beer.  We didn’t text our orders, it was cheap and delicious, and our waitress knew all the answers to my numerous questions.  This was way more our style. We were happy.

We went across the street to Theatre Building Chicago for the Chicago Sketch Fest, and there’s really nothing better than being buzzed and seeing good comedy. The only thing better is being buzzed, seeing good comedy and being asked to participate in the show.  I was the lucky girl. Thank god I had purchased the tiny $8 dollar vodka-soda at the bar, because I would later need the liquid courage. This show put on by a New York based troupe called FUCT and included a completely naked ballerina inspired dance involving feathers, a sketch about an unhappy whale at sea world (they fed him real, smelly fish on stage), acrobatics, and an unplanned make out scene featuring yours truly. The premise was two clearly different guys trying to pick me up. One guy was the nice guy. He was bald. He gave me flowers, a chocolate, a note that told me I was beautiful. The other guy asked me “what was up” in Spanish. He had hair. He grinded on me. Then he unexpectedly kissed me. Full force. When someone in a sketch group goes for a makeout on stage and you’ve had a couple martinis, you better believe you’re not going to stop him.  I was then asked to pick the winner. I told everyone that I wanted to go home with the guy with the hair. The martinis had made me kind of happy and definitely honest. His touch was much better than the bar.

By:

Ashley Spencer